What Chinese people pursue is perfection, absolutely not merely distinguishing right from wrong. In fact, this is the most difficult thing to achieve.

Chinese people hate those who have no sense of right and wrong, but they dislike those who make a clear distinction between right and wrong the most.

Those who clearly distinguish right from wrong always have poor interpersonal relationships and cannot get things done. We are a nation with high demands; we need to distinguish right from wrong within the context of perfection. If distinguishing right from wrong leads to imperfection, then all previous efforts will be in vain.

On the contrary, Westerners are simple: right is right, and wrong is wrong. This is absolutely not the case for Chinese people.

In China, people who often make mistakes tend to be fine, while those who are often right end up being extremely unlucky.

Isn't this strange? But you should know that the more right you are, the more people you will offend.

What I want to explain is that one must be very careful when listening to what Chinese people say.

We are absolutely not asking you to collude with evil or resort to trickery. However, we want you to consider everyone's face, to be able to adapt to changing circumstances, and to be able to endure temporary anger. Otherwise, this distinction between right and wrong will never be clarified.

Distinguishing right from wrong is an extremely difficult matter in Chinese society. To put it clearly, right contains wrong, and wrong contains right. If a person does something right in one aspect, there must be another aspect where they have done something wrong.

If a waiter quarrels with a customer, no matter how reasonable you are, you are still in the wrong. Why? Because you made the customer unhappy, and that is your fault.

No matter how right you are, if you make them unhappy, then you are wrong. In contrast, when Westerners quarrel, the distinction between right and wrong will be made very clear. Among Chinese people, when two brothers quarrel, it is impossible to distinguish who is right and who is wrong. Because after distinguishing that you are right and I am wrong, the brothers will not be of one mind, and there will be no affection between them afterward. When adults handle such quarrels between brothers, they must say that both are in the wrong and both deserve to be scolded. Then, they should also tell them that brothers are right only if they do not quarrel; as long as they quarrel, both are wrong.

This is what is meant by major right and wrong versus minor right and wrong. Chinese people focus on major right and wrong: as long as they are brothers, they must not quarrel, and they should discuss matters calmly.

Minor right and wrong refers to the insistence on distinguishing who is right and who is wrong. After arguing for a long time, in the end, they become estranged. Even though they live together every day, sometimes they are not as close as passers-by.

Nowadays, children will close their bedroom doors and tell their parents that they cannot read their letters.

However, Chinese parents will not accept such arguments. How can they know what their children are doing without reading them? After all, the practice of allowing children to have personal privacy is something foreign.

For Westerners, children are responsible for their own affairs because, in foreign countries, after a child turns 18, they have almost no relationship with their parents.

In China, even when a child is 30 years old, they are still their parents' child. If a 40-year-old child does something wrong, the parents will feel even more disgraced.

When Westerners see a child, they will first ask, "What's your name?" Every time I see this, I find it funny: "What does the child's name have to do with you?"

Chinese people will not ask this way. When Chinese people see a child, without further ado, they will first ask, "Who is your father?"

But then again, who your father is is more important; what does your name matter?

It is evident that Chinese people are always connected. When Chinese people see a child, they are more concerned about who his father is. As for his name, we do not pay much attention because he is not significant enough.

Moreover, we can adapt accordingly at any time.

Who is your father? If my father is a leader, we will take out the best chocolate at home to give him, and so on...

Some people therefore say that Chinese people are very snobbish. I would like to ask everyone: Is snobbery good?

You say it is not good. Then I tell you that because of snobbery, we strive to be worthy of others' respect and keep making progress. No matter where we Chinese go, we will always think of one thing: bringing honor to our ancestors.

You say it is good. Then you are too superficial. Is living just to be looked up to by others? Then, are Chinese people being realistic and snobbish good or not? I think by now, we are very clear that there is no absolute good or bad in Chinese affairs. It can be summed up in four words: as long as it is reasonable. There is no absolute right or wrong, good or bad.

Therefore, finally, I would like to remind everyone: remember, when you are in the right, be lenient to others; when you are justified, be gentle in manner.

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